Over And Over Until I'm Done

I am back in the Hospital for my tenth chemotherapy treatment. But this time I am doing the whole thing as an outpatient instead of being admitted onto the oncology floor. Basically this means I don't have to spend the night in the hospital, which is very nice. So far everything is going well and I hope I can finish my last two treatments as an outpatient as well.

Today I had a couple of visitors drop by. It is always nice to see familiar faces when I am in the hospital. Although, due to the frequency of my visits to the hospital I have become acquainted with many of the oncology nurses. In fact, I believe my time here has outlasted at least one staff member I had gotten to know. Not something I am really proud of, but interesting enough.

I had a very quick but enjoyable trip to Goshen last weekend. The concert went well and I also had a great time seeing so many friends I don't get to see very often.

With Love,
Nathan

Closer To Being Done

I made it through my second week of cycle number nine without getting sick and I am now entering my third week with a fair amount of energy. This past weekend I was at Hesston College for my sister’s graduation. The weather remained nice enough to have a wonderful picnic in the park with a few friends. Over all we had a nice trip, even though it was much too quick.

A couple of weekends ago, I was in Goshen for their graduation. It was a lot of fun to see many of my friends walk across the stage in their black gowns to receive their diplomas. While I wish I could have been one of them, I am looking forward to making the walk next year. I will be going back to Goshen this weekend (5/14) for a concert put on by Thirstborne. Goshen College and Thirstborne have decided to put on the concert to raise money for my medical expenses. All are welcomed.

I have just recently begun a count down of the weeks until my last treatment, which means that for the first time I can actually see a speck of light at the end of a dark, dark tunnel. In eight weeks I will be receiving my last treatment. The excitement of finishing is beginning to build.

Peace,
Nathan

Just Another Day

How do you go through tough times acknowledging the difficulty and yet maintain a positive attitude? People don’t like to hear me say that I had a bad week or I feel closer to death than ever before. It sometimes seems that others expect to hear I am doing well in spite of the physical, mental, and emotional drain I experience every three weeks. When I give an accurate answer to the question of “how are you feeling?”, I often come away feeling as if I am being too pessimistic. Or that I simply have given up hope and succumb to moping in the gloom of self-pity. No one likes to see anyone go through hard times that can’t find a way to be happy. And yet last week was a bad week, just as every week is following the beginning of my three-week cycle. I think the English language needs a new word. One that expresses that I had a horrible day and in spite of it I am still living and there is a smile deep inside me right now even if others can’t see it and I don’t say it. That is how I felt last week. That’s how I always feel after chemo.

For those of you who are keeping up on my treatment cycle, I just entered my ninth this past Monday (4/25). That means there are three more before this protocol comes to an end and I go back for evaluations. I pray that all the cancer that was in my bone marrow, abdomen, lungs, and chest cavity is completely gone and I can begin to recover from the months of chemotherapy instead of searching for what to do next. I hope to stay out of the hospital this week!! Today I am feeling pretty good!

I thank you all for caring so much for me,
Nathan